An incomplete list of things impossible to understand until you’ve experienced them.

There are things in life that are impossible to understand until you’ve actually experienced them. Here is an incomplete list:

  1. Sex.
  2. Love.
  3. That gray area between sex-and-love and that torturous feeling in the pit of your stomach when you fall for someone that you know is all wrong because he tells you that you’re pretty and you just need that validation right now.
  4. Getting older and the realization that this phenomenon is happening Every. Second. Of. Every. Day. Shit.
  5. Being a mother. I’m still waiting on this one. I like to think that being a fur mama is similar. I also know that I’m probably wrong and that they aren’t anything alike. I hope to find out someday.
  6. The death of a close friend or family member. Nothing prepares you. Nothing heals you. Except maybe time. It just hurts.
  7. Learning to forgive yourself for being a gross human being during that one phase of your life. Being able to move forward with humility instead of self-hate is so difficult. But so necessary if you want to walk through this world without feeling like there’s a stack of bricks on your shoulders.
  8. Coming to grips with the fact that there will come a time in your life when you won’t love rollercoasters anymore. I mean you’ll still like them. You just won’t be able handle more than one or two before feeling unsteady.
  9. Speaking of rollercoasters. Life is one giant neck-jerking one. Get used to it or spend your days being overly dramatic. Both are fair ways of handling it, tbh.
  10. Alone time is a glorious thing. Run errands alone. Go clothes shopping alone (a personal favorite). Eat at a restaurant alone. Laugh or cry at a movie alone. Go into nature alone. Watch Netflix while folding laundry and drinking a vodka soda alone. It’s so good. And so necessary.
  11. A clean house actually IS a happy house. Who knew? I’ve learned to love the small daily tasks that keep my home clean. Including making the bed and doing the dishes. I still hate folding laundry. Which is why it requires a vodka soda (see #10).
  12. That moment when you realize that You. Are. Not. Your. Parents. And how conflicted you feel after the relief flows over you like sinking slowly into a hot steamy bath. Because you love your parents. They’re good people. But you aren’t them.
  13. Even though you are not your parents, you do have pieces of them with you that you can choose to embrace or reject. You are also a product of your upbringing and pieces of them will come out of you in your most loving and your most dark moments.
  14. Laughter is really good for you. I’m still trying to lean on this one a bit more. I have a serious sense of the world that I get from my father (see #12 and #13). But it’s really wonderful when you surround yourself with people who can make you laugh.
  15. Everything doesn’t happen for a reason. Sometimes life is random and dumb and leaves you sitting there with your mouth gaping open and your brow furrowed.
  16. Furrowing your brow (see #15) will give you wrinkles. So try not to do that. But, if you do, make sure to wash your face and moisturize every day.

I write because I don’t know how not to write.

 

I read an article recently stating that starting  a blog in 2016 was pointless. They were coming at it from a marketing standpoint. The truth is, the majority of us don’t write for publicity or marketing or (definitely not) money. We write because that’s the way we keep ourselves sane. And because we don’t know how not to write.

For me, I am a better writer than speaker. I’ve always been that way. When I was in high school, I kept a LiveJournal religiously. In fact,  I recently went back and reread some from my sophomore year of high school. Two words: holy shit. (More on that later.) Now, as an almost thirty year old, I still write because it’s a healthy way for me to purge my thoughts and anxieties. One thing that comes with getting older is a desire to reflect on the person you’ve become. Writing is the best way I know how to do that. Perhaps, in part, it’s also a way for me to feed my ego and boost my self-confidence. I was never confident when it came to my physical appearance in high school or college (or, hell, even now). What I was and am confident in is my ability to write. That’s right. I said it. I’m a damn fine writer.

So, take that, article.  Not all of us are excited about the mobile age where less is more. Some of us still enjoy reading and writing things of substance. Not everything needs to be monetized and ad driven. In fact, I’m kind of frightened of a world where people stop writing for the simple pleasure of it. Let’s bring writing for the sake of writing back.

11 things I know for sure.


11 things
The world is small. Sometimes too small. This makes dating hard awkward.

Getting your nails done will make you (momentarily) feel like you’ve got your shit together.

Everyone is innately selfish. Don’t take things personally.

Coffee brings people together more than any religion ever will.

My dog knows me better than anyone else.

Forgiving and forgetting isn’t a part of my genetic makeup.

Burning bridges, however, is a natural gift of mine.

Spending time alone is my reset button.

Some people are going to be assholes, no matter what.

Dating someone kind is more important than dating someone [fill in the blank].

I will always cry when I hear “Your song” by Elton John.