The thing about now
is we all know that now
is all we’ve got. But, honestly, now
is never enough. Is it? Even now,
as I lay here, I worry that now
I won’t appreciate now.
Everyone talks about now,
talks about how now
isn’t as noble as now
used to be. How now
is wasted on youth. How now
we don’t respect now.
We’re told to meditate on now,
to harness the power of now.
If you don’t know, now
you know. And if not now,
when? Because, we know now
we can’t control now.
Now, I lay here and wait for now
to crack me open. For now
to stop the ringing in my ears. For now
to grow under my fingernails. For now
to stop playing chicken. For now
to show itself. Preferably now.
If I close my eyes, now
will I find now? Now
will it stop eluding me? Now,
maybe that’s the key to now.
If I take a deep breath, maybe now
will appear like two glowing eyes. Now
I can’t focus on anything except how now
there isn’t anything. And, now,
I wonder if there is such a thing as now.
Because wouldn’t I know it was now?
Wouldn’t I stop worrying about now?
Wouldn’t I be better, calmer, brighter now?
If it is now, then I’m not sure now is the answer.
Because now I’m afraid now isn’t going to save me.
What if now isn’t the answer? Now what?